Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Describing "Lolita"

Going off loliprompts, I felt this would be a fun one. When someone asks about lolita, what do I tell them it is?

It is very easy for me actually, I never call it lolita unless the person asking is asking in a way which expresses interest in joining the lolita community. To anyone else I simply say I’m wearing clothes; that I like pretty dresses. I could fully explain things, yes, but most of the time I’m explaining things in passing. They want a sentence or two and I don’t want to sound like a special snowflake in those two sentences. I mean, you never know when this person you’re meeting in passing may be the hiring manager you have to talk to in a few weeks. I’m not accidentally ruining my chances of becoming a curator for the Smithsonian or Kennedy Space Center if I can help it. I rather make my clothing choice a non issue, by responding sweet and simply I help others see that my clothes may be a little different but it is they that are making it weird and not me.

This is probably best illustrated when I tell my friends and family I happen to be busy on a given day for a loli meet-up. All of them are fine with the fashion but my family is a bit uncomfortable with the term lolita so I simply say:

“I’ve got a frilly, girly party to go to.” :)

While I love lolita and am happy to talk about it I am a Southern lady and know there are times when you say things in different ways to keep everyone comfortable and better communicate your actual meaning. “Bless his heart” is used to politely say someone has just done something not so bright; it keeps the peace. “Detailed oriented dresses with vintage/historic influences” keeps people from thinking I’m some sort of pedo as opposed to lolita. It is unfortunate we have this name which most people know from something unsavory and I think it is a choice all of us have to make as to when we address the fashion by name.

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